june 21, 2009 ... tell my feet... i'm coming home...

through with this series of adventures, i'm on my way home... caught in a dizzying and utterly conflicting array of thoughts, it's been a journey, to say the least... and it's one that more people should try on for size... not getting preachy about it or anything... it's just that there's no way to even remotely duplicate the experience... even less useful, trying to describe it (as you've read time and again :)...

over the last nearly three weeks, i've hit pretty much every emotion... sadness, joy... utter weakness, new-found strength... failure, success... total terror, surprising courage... frustration, victory... and, most important... hope... you name it... i smacked into it like a mac truck... and, in all of these, i found a lot of peace... and i let go of quite a few things that i feel have been holding me back lately... i left them and the pain and sadness that ride shotgun on the shores of namtso lake...

and, in doing so... i think i'm coming home a better mom... daughter... sister.. friend... coworker... human being... i know... it's a pretty tall order so i'm going to be patient with myself... (and i hope you all will be, as well)...

i've tried to be upbeat and fairly general in my missives... which is not to say that there aren't stories behind the stories behind the stories... and i appreciate those who have understood my inability to elaborate at the moment... there will be a time to address some harsher truths... as they are important facets to this complicated picture... but, for now... i'm looking forward to putting my feet firmly back where they belong...

thanks for following along and for all your support!!!

mwah!

k

p.s.... i learned to actually... kinda... sorta... like (?)... yak butter tea.... :)

june 20, 2009... ciao, tibet... and, man, talk about a test...

what a crazy, flippin' day! it's like the cosmos wanted to give me a final exam JUST to make sure i'm going home with a real lesson...

WORST (and that's saying a LOT) ride to the airport... unidentified driver and "guide," who couldn't manage to roll out my big bag that *i* carried down three flights of stairs (and darling, petite sawang ended up rolling out to the car... sheesh!)... AND didn't speak a word of english... weird incident on the road (but one of many that i'll talk about when i'm home... )... and then they both dumped me off in the lhasa airport parking lot...

fine... i can do this... no problem... chaos inside the airport... wait patiently .. (slightly worried because it was a 1:45 p.m. and the flights was set for 3 p.m... hahahahaha!!!!)... yeah... i knew my baggage was overweight (and, frankly, got off pretty sweet on the inbound flight, with no penalties... )... but when i go to the "overage" counter (while the ticket desk holds my friggin passport!)... the woman tells me i have to pay about 750 yuan (just more than $100)... and i only have 368 yuan to my name... i sort of panic... ask if they take credit cards... nope! is there an ATM nearby? nope!... so basically, i dump all the money i have on the counter... and tell her that's it.. and ask... "now what???"... hilariously enough... she holds up her index finger.. says "wait"... walks away... comes back 10 minutes later with a new "overage" slip of less than half the extra weight and a charge of 358 yuan... she proceeds to take ALL my money and then hands back 10 yuen ... (the equivalent of about $1.20)... and i STILL keep my cool... (yes... me!)

dump my water before security... scootch through after security takes my purell, saying that is "flammable" (oddly, it wasn't flammable OR a problem at any other point in my travels... :)... and, aha! STILL no ATM... no way to get $$$$ before the 2-hour flight to chengdu... OK.. fine...

but wait! the 3 p.m. flight... leaves... at... just before 5 p.m..... argh!... still smiling... really!... (although i'm also sad because i already miss the kids like crazy... )... so, fine.. stuck in an aiport for three hours... scrounging my backpack for anything edible and/or resembling water... and... again... decent mood... even offerered the overly gruff chinese security guy some gum... which elicted a smile and a "thank you"... nice... anyhoo, finally loaded into a tube with 200-plus coughing, hacking people who are eyeing ME suspiciously and the only thing said to me the whole time is "do you have swine flu?"... ahahahahaha!!!!

so, far... i'm passing with FLYING colors (really, kind of proud of myself... )...

and... then... the karmic curveball...

not one bag missing...

BOTH!

everyone who checked in at "the proper" time... we all got screwed...

and, yes, i lost it... complete... total.. and utter meltdown... i admit it... i was SO the pissed-off, ugly american that i should have been wearing a fanny pack, hawaiian shirt and stuffing a big mac in my face...

it was disgusting...

and then i caught myself... stopped... breathed... apologized to everyone around me... walked to the complete end of the line... and sat in humble silence until everyone else had filled out the forms to have their luggage delivered... even if my pre-paid ride left... even if they gave away my room... i put myself in the corner...

i hope that, in the end, it qualifies me as eligible for extra credit...

thankfully, my ride (same driver and gal who picked me up before... you know, the one that ran off? actually... she's very nice... she had her son - about clare's age - with her... and i felt really bad that they'd had to wait... again, the offer of wrigley's gum seems to make all happy... and her son gave me a cute little token in return... see? :)

so, now, i'm back in the cacophany of the mainland... missing the auditory beauty of the tibetan language... sitting in my hostel bar.. eating spicy tofu... blabbering... drinking a tsingtao... and blindly hoping that my luggage did, in fact, come in on the last flight from lhasa... and that both bags will find their way to me before the a.m. and aren't lost in the void... (besides losing a LOT of stuff... most of ya'll won't be getting presents... so you might want to root for the same ;)

miss lhasa... but happy to be working my way home...

k

june 19, 2009... last day in lhasa...

wow… I can’t believe it’s over… and i managed to have one of the happiest and saddest days of my life today.. happy because I was feeling good again… rash/welts/mystery illness seem to pretty much be gone (fingers crossed!)… made a bunch of pb& honey sammiches (could NOT, for the life of me, determine what was jelly and what was meat sauce in the supermarket… scary, eh?… so i went the safe route with honey)… for the kids and staff as a “thanks and good-bye”… joined a friday afternoon water fight with the kids and got my butt kicked (but managed to get a few good, bowl fulls of H2O out there, as well)… and took class I, the insane clown posse, as my final class…

and then, the part i’ve dreaded… leaving…

started with class IV gave sonam dekyi a respectful smile and nudge (that girl will be a force with which to contend) and made my final, “brilliant” impression by spilling pasang’s ink all over her desk… (hey, at least I’ll be memorable, right? ;)… and, of course, there was helpful tenzin always ready to lend a hand, even when teacher makes a fool of herself on the way out… :)

class III… funny… smart… sweet… with just the right amount of smart-ass… my kind of kids… I had so much fun with them… “mr. no” … shrewd lobsang t and kelsang… sherab (right), the hi-larious wolf in sheep’s clothing… sweet, funny and a demon in a water battle, pema… and the quiet duo of mindol and yangzoom…

class I is where I lost it… and I’m not sure when I’ll recover… how weird is it that this class of mostly wild, raucous and totally nyon-pa (crazy) children was the hardest to say good-bye to? Perhaps it is because, despite the fact that my leaving had been a topic of discussion at school much of the day, the majority of them looked surprised when I stopped by to say my final farewell… mostly, though, it was the look of sadness in tenzin n.’s, tseshoe’s, tenzin d.’s … and, especially, sonam’s eyes ... sonam...(below.. on the left) had been sort of mad at me all day about leaving... so tough...)… when they welled up… shit… I just tried to keep it together… most of you know I’m pretty crappy at that and know that I hugged them all (a few especially tight)… waved… blew kisses… and then ran my ass upstairs to the office and bawled…

kathy to the rescue… ready with kind words a hankie or seven… and then a butt-dragging to one more painful, but oh-so-worth-it session of foot reflexology… really, where else can one spend 150 yuan (about $25, including tip) to have one’s feet repeatedly stuck in scalding hot water with medicinal herbs… then rubbed and beaten to the point of screaming (in a good way!)… bottomless hot tea… and THEN a full leg, back, neck and head rub… about an hour and a half in all… damn!

a nice... last dinner at dunya... and a noticeable difference in street traffic... will comment more in the future...

there’s no way to describe (even though I’ve tried daily) these kids and this place… there is joy where most would see sorrow… family where many would see orphans… courage and brilliance where some would see disability… and, perhaps most important… hope where most would see despair…

I hope, someday, to give jatson chumig… and all its teachers, workers, leaders… and… of course, children… even a quarter of what they’ve given me over the last two weeks…

my gratitude is endless..

ka-lee shu dâng tu-jay-chay, jatson chumig…

i will return…

june 18, 2009 ... wtf is on my ass?

… and why is it now covering my entire body????

not one of my best days… was really looking forward to seein’ the potala again… and enjoying my nearly last day with the kids…. life didn’t see things the same way… as mentioned, i awoke yesterday with my tender rear (and then some) covered in some strange rash/welt/hive love monster/child and decided it was time to do something about it… therefore, our awesome guide, tashi, took me over to spend the morning in a tibetan hospital’s version of urgent care (I think)… i really am eternally grateful for both kathy and tashi… this would have been really really awful to deal with solo…

funny, though, the doctor barely looked at me… asked me if I’d been at a park or eaten fish or chicken lately (apparently, yak is hypoallergenic?)… determined that it was an allergic reaction (i have my doubts)… and ordered a glucose drip, calamine and some mystery medication... what i reacted to , I’m still not sure… a few locals seem to think it’s the bath water (no, I don’t drink the water…) … so, just to be safe, I’ve been advised wait until I’m back in chegndu to shower… ick… instead, I’ve bought a bunch of bottles of arrowhead and am going to do my best with that… ha ha!

anyhoo, I was really quite disappointed not to see the kids … I pretty much spent all afternoon covering myself in calamine… reading… napping… and crying for my mommy… :)

by evening, i was feeling better… actually left the hotel for dinner… hit new mandala restaurant, which has a sweet view of jokhang temple (but, apparently, sorely disappointing french fries… sorry, kathy... not every spot can server up fries like tashi I... ha!)… and walked the barkhor until about 10 p.m. (dusk is 9-p.m.-ish… weird)… most of the swelling has gone down… but it was nasty for a while there (pic of feet, not ass, above… :)

tomorrow is my last day here… and nothing will keep me from the school.. . that’s for sure… frankly, I’m stunned at how quickly the time has passed… and how familiar lhasa had become for me… if you asked me even a year ago if I could take a bus across this town; direct a taxi to a given destination (and correct the driver when necessary); and walk, at night, through the streets and NOT be a terrified nincompoop (despite those scary five-year-olds who chase you, calling "MONEY!!!! MONEY!!!"… the answer would have been a definitive “no”…

instead, what I’ve found is that i’ve met some amazing people… made a few friends… and found out that I can do quite a few things on my own (but having caring people around you in a crisis certainly is appreciated!!!)… i’ve also been reminded of a quite a few things here that I’m taking home and going to put to better use…

that a smile is the ultimate ice breaker, no matter where you are… that genuine kindness is humankind’s greatest treasure… and that when I ask “how are you?” it will be more than just a BS courtesy for which no real answer is wanted or expected… i will mean it… if I don’t want to know, i just won’t ask and save everyone the hassle (maybe that sounds mean, but I think it better than asking and not meaning it, si? no?)… the point is that I’m going to work on putting authenticity before etiquette or feigned politeness… ought to be interesting so see how that pans out…

so...packing… last-minute shopping for friends/family (seems like I should have had this done ages ago… i really don’t know where the time went)… school… and, then the toughest part… the part i've dreaded before i ever got here... i’m really crappy at good-byes and I’m really not sure how I’m going to do this…

breathing…

june 17, 2009... this sucks...

ok... no real explanation, but this rash from hell is officially out of control...i'm swollen and look like i've gotten a botched collagen lip treatment (kathy has attempted to humor me by telling me that angelina jolie pays thousands for lips this big... :)... and i'm covered in welts that ITCH!!!! this a.m., i finally agreed it was time to head to the hospital for medical help... so off to a tibetan hospital i went... really... interesting experience... thanks to kathy and our guide tashi, i wasn't alone... but it was still scary as heck... especially when needles became involved... eeek! (what the hell does a glucose drip do for one??? anyone?????)

sooooo... i'm spending my second to last day laid up in my hotel room, slathering calamine lotion all over me... reading... sleeping... and boo-hooing like a child... (i can admit this :)... this is NOT how i wanted to end this adventure.... everyone's been great and it's been an amazing trip... but -- really -- sometimes... there's no place like home....

june 16, 2009.. .itchy and scratchy...

not much to report, other than i came home last night all itching... and woke up this morning covered in welts and rashes… yeah… three days left, and i’m an itchy madwoman… anyhoo, thought it was an allergic reaction… but it's more likely heat-induced… heck, if it doesn’t improve by the a.m., i’ll head for medical help… whooo-friggin-ho! (ARRRGGGHHHH!!!!)

other than that, all is well… continue to get beautiful notes from students… especially class I (aka the insane clown posse.. :) … sonam continues, silently but earnestly, to work his way into my heart and promptly break it every time he gets that look of frustration when he can’t communicate… i have other break-time companions, as well (tenzin norbu, above, continues to be the all-time notewriter... and the rest? all ... sweet, wonderful... and dripping snot... ahhhhh... ;)

and, now that brian left this afternoon, questions about my departure are starting…. i hate this… i mean it… i really, really hate it… i don’t want to tell them I’m leaving… i don't want to leave... but i'm ready to go home in many ways... and I’m sort of dreading friday… although, I’m breaking open my jar of peanut butter and making PB&Js for all the kids as my good-bye treat…

assuming this stupid swelling goes down!, kathy and are off to the potala palace in the a.m…. then school…

june 15, 2009 ... it's debatable...

up and out at the crack butt with our guide and driver for the two-hour drive to ganden monastery… a place (other than namtso) i also hadn’t seen during my previous venture out there.. built high on a hill, ganden – along with drepung and sera – are three major monasteries around tibet… i could try to get into who built what… but suffice it to say that that tsongkhapa and two of his students (i’m not about to butcher their names without a proper google search)… each founded/built one of the three…

anyhoo, ganden has an amazing history as one of the largest … educating as many as 8,000 in its day, i think… lovely place… oodles of steps… seriously, you want good legs? come to tibet!

after another crappy box lunch, which – i swear – i will never do one of those again.. blech!… we headed back to lhasa to visit sera monastery … walked through the simply beautiful halls… heard the deep, humbling throat-singing of a monk or two… and were treated to some of the most beautiful singing by workers (my picture doesn’t do their labor justice… but kathy got some great pics, which i’ll snag… )… we even got a blessing… (i’ll take ‘em where I can get ‘em!)… and were in time to see the daily debates in the courtyard (they just started opening them to the public again last week)…

long story short, in small groups, one monk challenges the others regarding buddhist teachings, with a WHAP! of a slap at the end of the question…. honestly, mixed feelings about it… as much as I dug it, i didn’t like the feeling of taking pictures during such an integral part of their teachings… anyhoo, i took a few shots felt kinda blub about it.. and then sat and watched in amazement…

i can’t believe tomorrow is tuesday already… only four full days left… :( … the time has gone SO quickly… i’ve met some really great people… had a few crazy experiences… tackled some things that scared me… and have yet to regret one moment of this (ok, i keep forgetting to put enough sunscreen on, but other than that :)…

june 13 and 14, 2009... some moments take your breath away… some just scare the hell out of you…

ok… I’ve been in the same clothes for 36 hours… i smell like a yak fur and dung-fuel cocktail… and my ass hurts from sitting in a car for 10 hours… yet (and no offense to anyone) i’m the happiest i’ve been in six months… easily... i love what i'm doing here... i love this place... anyhoo, onto my namtso lake-o-rama...

the logistics of this kooky little adventure to namtso: left lhasa at about 9 a.m. Saturday… sat in a vehicle for about five hours… driving, at best, roughly paved… at worst, teeth-shattering dirt and rock “roads”… hey… minivan-lovers out there, i take back most of what I’ve ever said about you… those suckers can go just about anywhere, even if I did nearly bite through my tongue a few times…

pretty much the closest brush with total disaster with a huge tour bus coming from the opposite direction on a two-lane road… seriously, if I understood chinese, I could have told you the damn bus’ VIN… inches from my window… scared the living shit out of all of us…

anyhoo, we survived… sort of chuckled about it… a moved along to la ken la, the pass to namtso lake at an astounding 5,190 meters (more than 18,000 feet…) windy as hell, but beautiful… brian hung prayer flags he brought along, and we wound our way down to the lakefront tent city…

shoot, I’m already babbling… ok… i was so excited, as i wanted to go here in 2006, but our itinerary just didn't have enough room... anyhoo, we did the short kora… about a mile and a half… not too much, but at more than 16,000 feet above sea level, it’s a trek… we all (at least tried… not all prevailed...) crawled through this little hole that’s supposed to tell you if you’re good or evil… (i scurried through there as fast as possible in the hope that i’d be too quick for it to notice… ha!)… and crossed paths with a monk doing a full prostration … i mean, throwing himself on the rocky path and all… wow… just… you know…

really, the whole thing was beautiful… and totally worth the drive (and the terror)… as well as the wait...

took a little solo time as sunset as the rain-heavy clouds started to roll in… had myself a nice, little reality check… just me, the lake, the clouds… and the peeps still trying to sell me a yak ride for 10 yuan… seriously, I had a good think-about… good and bad, alike… kicked my own ass… realized i’m sick of some of my own bullshit… as well as others’… was reminded that you get what you give... did s

ome forgiving all around… set some new goals…put a big, old deposit into the kristen bank account… and, mostly... remembered to be GRATEFUL!!!!!!

honestly, i feel better and stronger than I have in a while… physically, mentally and emotionally… nothing like going halfway across the world to rediscover one’s path, eh? ;)

what i didn’t get to do was build a ragger’s point at the lake... and i was SO looking forward to it... alas… those who know, know… those who don’t, don’t worry about it… i found myself a reasonable alternative…

anyhoo, the tent was actually quite nice (ours is below... the one in the middle… faaannncccyy… eh?)… the public bathrooms on the other hand… seriously, I’m pretty brave about this stuff but this was beyond horrific…. the bright side? i found out i can hold and breath and pee in less than 30 seconds (might be worth adding to my resume)! as far as the actual accommodations, oddly the bed is softer than at the hotel… after the day’s journey, i was pretty beat so i put myself to bed at, get this… 9:30 p.m…. i’m pretty sure there were toddlers outside playing long after that… but, to the sound of rain and thunder -- as well as the WOOF! WOOF! of the many stray dogs .. including quite a few of my beloved tibetan mastiff -- I did the ambian mambo and had the best night’s sleep I can recall! yay!

did one more kora in the a.m. and then hit the road as the tour buses arrive (seriously, most tourists leave lhasa at, like 7 a.m…. drive five hours… get their pics taken in front of the lake with a yak… and then get back on the bus for the five-hour drive back to lhasa… weird!)…. we gave a tibetan woman a ride about halfway back to lhasa so she could herd the cattle for a few days… I don’t make this up… really…

and, now, back in lhasa… our trio has parted ways for the evening for a little space… I’m back at dunya for the cheap lhasa beer and free wi-fi… who knows? maybe I’ll even stay up until 10 p.m. tonight… whoot!

out early monday a.m. to ganden monastery.. and then to the afternoon debates at sera… yay!

tuesday, back to class!

oh... and, in case you weren't aware... i just love prayer flags!

june 12, 2009... yak butter tea... well... yuk...

started the morning with a visit to jokhang temple… my, such a refreshing experience.. different than 2006, but amazing just the same… interesting going with a different guide at a different time… and, with saga dawa still going, the pilgrimages are still under way, bringing people from all over the region… really, very… VERY cool…

had a HUGE lunch at a real tibetan restaurant… WAY too much food… momos… yak tongue (no, I did not partake of the tongue.. i know i’m a wuss)… but, I did finally try yak butter tea… it was better than I’d anticipated, but – seriously – it’s kind of like eating a melted stick of slightly sour butter… i suppose it’s an acquired taste… one that i’m pretty sure i can live without… but I’m glad I tried it anyway :)

no near-death experiences involving motorized vehicles but we’re off to namtso lake (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Namtso) for an overnight with my new friends tomorrow… five hours each way… so one never knows! (kidding)… looking forward to getting some great pics of the waning full moon over the lake…

ok… outta here until sunday afternoon tibet-time…

p.s. beds in tibet are the most uncomfortable on earth... period!

june 11, 2009... insanity behind the wheel...

ok... if you've never been to asia... the driving is INSANE! absolute friggin' chaos... now... take the drivers to 13,000 feet above sea level, and it's like a whole new flavor of crazy-licious... lanes? ha! traffic lights? if they even exist, they're more like "guidelines"... so... after the craziest cab ride EVER! (imagine a driver going a bazillion miles an hour through town, honking his horn as if it’ll run out of steam… a dog crossing the street… and three americans cowering... covering their eyes and screaming, “OH GOD!!! OH GOOOODDDD!!!! DON’T HIT THE DOG!!!!” (we're pretty sure we missed it)…. yeah… my morning was something like that…

had another great day at the school… a few kids have become almost fully attached themselves to my hips, but that’s ok… they need attention and affection as much as education… probably more… and i can’t deny that hearing “teacher! teacher!” and seeing the rush of kids when we walk into the courtyard isn’t the coolest thing… really, words can’t describe how amazing this whole experience has been so far…

anyhoo, learning my way around the city and picking up the odd tibetan phrase here and there… (and horribly mis-pronouncing everything, much to the locals’ entertainment)... headed to the jokhang temple today (friday, my time)... then to class for the afternoon... tomorrow (saturday here), we're off to namtso lake, one of tibet's holiest lakes and the highest saltwater lake in the world... staying overnight in a tent and freezing our asses off... yay! SO excited!

june 10, 2009... foot reflexology rocks!

another great day… the children have fully warmed up to my presence… and run up in the courtyard, asking when their next english class is… sweet… and one of the littlest girls in class I sneaked through the crowd in front of me and slid a little ring on my finger… with two little hearts entwined… she scurried away, blushing… and i just welled up… these kids have nothing, yet share so much… wouldn’t it be great if we could all be so generous?

was with class III, “the performers”, in the afternoon… after going over some basic verb usage and feeling a little bored with it myself… so i started asking them about sports (most of the olympic sports) and giving them the english names… it was awesome… everything from volleyball and tennis… to boxing and… yes, bullfighting… watching them act out the sport they wanted to know was hysterical…

after school, we went to the foot reflexology place next to the school ... and OMG… it was AMAZING… (imagine having your feet put into increasingly hotter... and hotter water... and then someone beating the crap out of em... in a good way... )painful, but amazing… i swear, i’m going back at least one more time! shhhhhhhh….

ended with another night of silliness at dunya… glad tomorrow is a late class day ;)

june 9, 2009 ... phew!

busy, busy day… five classes… finally got to meet classes II and IV… another adventure in class I (and more drawings… yay!)… this time solo… and on my own with class III, with various goofy performances by the students… (they wanted me to sing... oh, lordie... but diverted them by asking them to sing for me... close one!)

i’m really enjoying the off-time with the kids… trying to pick up a few words in tibetan… listening to “teacher! teacher!… head, shoulders, knees and toes… knees and toes”… over and over… learning their version of jacks… but played with rocks… and, of course, the usual young girls clap games… i’m truly appreciative at how they’ve warmed up to me… i had expected at least a few days of distance… but it’s all hugs all the time… and, yes, I’m going through purell like a madwoman…

and the school just built two GREAT greenhouses... diggin' that sustainability thing...

other than that, kathy – the teacher from boston arrived today… so it was nice meeting and getting acquainted with her…

seem to be dealing with the altitude just fine… and i’ve decided that whoever created purell is a genius and that lhasa boogers are camp boogers on steroids…

BTW... I took the bus home all by my lonesome today... like a big kid!!!! and i didn't get lost... yay!

june 8, 2009... teacher lady...

so today was my first day teaching at jatson chumig… only two classes, with brian taking the lead so I could get a feel for each class’ general level of knowledge… class I (the youngest… and rowdiest : ) and class III a bunch of

smart, SMART kids… classes aren’t arranged by age, really… but, for the most part, by ability level….

and, man, class I (ages ranging from 5 to 9), while short-attention-span-theater central, are about the most endearing group of kids you could hope to meet… from strong, silent and sometimes frustrated sonam sangpo (wish I’d kept up better on my signing)… to helpful tenzin norbu… mischief-filled karma (yeah, funny, eh?) and my new appendage, beautiful tenzin dolkar… they’re all amazing… a little tiring, too… but in a good way! and, so cute… after class, about five or six brought me notes… pictures or simple phrases in tibetan… but … blllluuuuhhhh… heart totally mushed…

class III (somewhere in the 9-13 age range)… wow! you SO wouldn’t know they hadn’t had any english lessons in the six months… these kids are sharp, sharp sharp… some of them incredibly witty, too… if they can find a way to give you a bit of a hard time, they will… all in good fun, of course… but they’re old enough to push a few boundaries… and they want to make sure you can laugh at yourself…

BTW... the soccer ball is a HUGE hit (thanks, David!)... the basketballs need to wait until some sort of fence can be built to protect the greenhouses... but the anticipation is definitely there... :)

after school, i met some friends of brian’s who are studying english… lovely young ladies with some real ambitions… some want to become teachers… some tour guides… some of them simply want to return to their home villages and bring the english language back to help their families… all of them come from other parts of tibet lhasa to study… all of them were incredibly impressive… and, in one of life’s most touching and significant moments, brian and I were given the amazing and humbling honor of bestowing one beautiful young woman’s (an amazing gal... a nomad.. who trekked to lhasa to learn english... )... english name… "catherine"... :)

cool... cool day...

june 7, 2009... ack! everything i have already reeks of yak butter!

first full day in lhasa… gorgeous and HOT… weird, eh? anyhoo, brian and i circumnabulated the bakhor a few times again throughout the day with all the pilgrims here for saga dawa… the crowds were amazing… young and old, alike… prostrating around the jokhang and the potala… families having picnics in the park around the potala… so nice (even though... well... we're weren't really ummmm... "supposed" be walking in the gardens behind the potala... we kinda did anyway... and, yes, it was noticed... whups!…)

also wandered round a few rather questionable corners near the barkhor (won't know if you don't go!)... and came across a small temple amid a lama blessing, which was just pretty dang cool… we also went over to the school so i could get my bearings for my first day of teaching… i’m excited! a little nervous, too… so are the kids, i think, as there haven’t been any volunteers here for about eight months… they were shy at first… but giving hugs within a few hours… the school is amazing… needs a lot of work, but brian and tenzin are tackling projects head-on…

really, it’s one thing hear about the work under way… a completely different thing to see it happening and realizing that these kids are sleeping two or three to a bed because the dormitories are in such a state of disrepair…

but these children are so happy… so kind… so helpful… really, it’s amazing…

there’s more to say about my day, but some stories can only be told in person…besides, pictures can tell some stories so much better...

hope everyone is well...

june 6, 2009 ... to the roof, with ya’

flight to lhasa pretty uneventful… was really feeling out of it in the a.m…. like i could fall asleep at any moment… was nervous for a bit until i realized that instead of taking my altitude sickness med, I’d popped an ambian… whups!…

anyhoo… lines, line, lines… no extra charge for second bag… on the domestic flight… yay... sleep… and... as we were coming in for the landing and watching these amazing peaks envelope us, three really cool songs hit my ipod in a row… "happiness," blue nice; "jig of life," kate bush; and "when I’m gone," ani defranco… i was probably the only one in tears upon touchdown… so happy to be back!!!

anyhow, more forehead scanning… driver there… yay… pretty quite ride (found the tibetan mastiff puppy farm! no, meg, i won’t buy one there!).. passed about a bazillion... ummmm... big green trucks... (you people are smart)... and then onto the hotel…

yes… the cool yak… ha! funny place… find the teensiest, odor-filled alley you can find… turn left… and the cool yak is straight ahead… and it’s this little oasis… just newly opened… no wi-fi (wah) but there’s a café across the street that has it… so that’ll work! really, the cool yak is nice… clean… like every other hotel in Tibet, the beds are like rock (and my flat iron still won’t heat up… i think it might be dead... waaaaaahhhh! ) other than that, great… my new friend brian… and the school asst. director, tenzin, met me there, which was really nice…

no way i was going "rest"... too dang excited... so brian and i went out for a few laps around the barkhor… and talking with people… we’re in the middle of the holy time of saga dawa (the birth, enlightenment and death of buddha all rolled into one)... so there are many pilgrims in tibet… prostrating praying… amazing…

then dinner/drinks at dunya, which is run by a great couple from Holland… rather odd feeling sitting in a restaurant/bar steps from jokhang palace with zepplin and pink floyd blaring… overall a good night…gorgeous moon! brian is a wealth of information about the school…

we’re going to over tomorrow to check it out.. and i start work there on Monday…

i know why i’m here… and that’s a good thing…

June 5, 2009 (continued) ... fine, quick shower, and it’s time to explore…

after going to three different stores to buy water because NO ONE want to make change for 100 yuan (the monetary equivalent of about $13… seriously!)… i wander my way toward wenshu monastery… which, on the handy dandy pocket map i’ve got, looks to be about a half-mile away… but, in reality, is about three miles away… alas… it was good to walk… check out the local color… earn my first vaca blisters... you know... the good stuff!

chengdu, by china standards, is not a huge city (which means it is STILL huge but its nowhere near shanghai or beijing uber-gigantor… surprisingly, i was one of about two white faces… and certainly the only woman strolling alone… so i did the only thing i could… walked like i owned the place (humbly, of course :)….

the gardens were beautiful (and there’s a great big pond where all discarded red-eared sliders go to live out there days… oh... flash... java... here, turtle, turtle, turtle..!)… and the crowds sparse… i just perused the grounds, where dozens of older chinese congregated to talk, play games and practice their instruments…. all of them friendly and inviting… really, it was quite peaceful… until…

i get waved over by a young man… not attractive.. but not unattractive… who wants to practice his english… he’s sitting with a bunch of older people who are playing cards so… ok… why not (and, maybe, i can get a pic, right? wrong!)… starts out ok enough… makes some small talk… and then says he works for “lonely planet” (hmmmmm... oookkkkk)… and is writing about the best places backpackers like to see in chegndu… ummmm… ok… he then declares that he must take me out to dinner the next night to see the chengdu opera…

argh! i silently beg him to see that... 1) i’m married… see the ring (why don’t men ever see the ring?)… 2) even if i weren’t, there’s not one ounce of interest… and 3) if i want to spend an evening listening to cats in heat, all i have to do is jump the fence to el dorado park when the season is right… bleh… no thanks… and when he “insisted” we go tonight… i just said a polite "no, thank you"... and walked away with him yelling after me… in a monastery… weird..

as i was nearing the end, i found the monastery's much-touted veggie restaurant … damn, i wish I’d even been remotely hungry…

on the trek back, i recalled passing an open-air market among the hutongs and thought… "oh yeah… this i gotta see"… i’m sure i was a strange site wandering the back alleys, but everyone was friendly and showed off their wares… fruits, vegs, whole chickens and TONS of meat… i SO wanted to take pics of it all but was respectful, asked... and put the camera down when they said "no" (poop!)… anyhoo, very cool to see how food is supposed to be bought… food that is grown or raised by your neighbor… fresh… simplicity is exquisite …

hoofed it back for my hotel… and headed down to the bar with my laptop in one arm and tony in another… had dinner… a few beers… and wrote and read… ended up in a card game with a few kids from the uk who’d been traveling the world for nearly five months… lucky! nice enough kids… and i sort of learned the game sh*thead… mmmmmkkkk…

june 5, 2009... i’m here! whoot!

phew! what a ride so far…

ok.. to try to keep this in some kind of nutshell… first off, business class totally rocks my socks… breeeeeezed through check-in… had a whole separate line for security… sat in a nifty lounge and sashayed my way to my gate round about 1:20 a.m. PDT… taken to a kick-butt little cube that was all my own… fully reclining chair… immediately handed a glass of cool, crisp… and referred to by name instantly… ROCK STAR.. (go ahead, all of you who are used to this treatment, chuckle away… pbbbhhhttt… all i can i say is… you had a first time, too! ;)

anyhoo, for a pretty decent meal (although, really people… there are ways to include SOME sort of protein on a vegetarian meal… ) … another glass or so… my friend, ambian and i had a little chat… tilted my seat back… started “frost vs. nixon” on my personal screen… aaaaannnnndddd… woke up approximately 9 hours later, realizing i had only made it through about 20 minutes of the flick… yay!

so i finished the movie… and dug into “fight club”… and, voila! i'm in hong kong…

jumped off the plane and immediately started looking for the “i’m in business class and my poop don’t stink” lounge… little problem.. there are three of them in HK airport… and every person i asked not only pointed me in a different direction, but NONE of them mentioned i had to go through transfer security before i could get to any of them… really, my bad, having been through this airport twice before, i really should have remembered this… alas…

anyway, after working my way through the line (no special treatment this time.. boo!)… i found my way across the MILES of terminals known as HK airport and found the SWEET lounge… with some seriously tasty noodles (and some protein.. hazzah!)…

flight to chengdu was relatively uneventful… although biz class wasn’t quite a neat on dragon air… still, not bad, either… great service, esp. as there were two stewardesses (is that the PC term these days?) serving three of us… the crisp, clear was flowing… yes, i actually had to say “no, thank you”… weird… anyhoo, finished “fight club”… picked up “kitchen confidential”… and we landed… then, it got weird…

so the Chinese gov’t is ALL paranoid about this swine flu thing, right? (but thanks for SARS, really!)… seriously, people in masks come onto the plane and stick this laser gun thingy to everyone’s head to see if you have pretty much any sort of fever… if you do, BOOM three day’s quarantine… not kidding… so all i’m doing is sitting there, thinking “igloo,” “ice cream,” “arctic circle”… brrrrrrr…! anyhoo, it was fine, but then i had to fill out a form telling them where i’d be for the next seven days… OK, no, i don’t like lying… esp. to people who can kick my butt out their country with a pound of a stamp… but i also couldn’t say, “well, i’m headed to tibet in the a.m.”… so, i put down the number of the hostel i’m staying at tonight and kept my fingers crossed… OMG! the cross-examination… the guy asks me to lists my cell phone… “ummmm… i don’t have one… that’s the number of my hotel”… “WHAT?!”… three supervisors and a new pair of panties later, and i’m practically running for baggage claim… phew!

a few miscommunications with the gal who met me outside of the gate, and i’m on the way to my hostel… the driver speaks no english… fine… ok… we’re five minutes in the ride, and the driver pulls over… and my “greeter” jumps out of the car… and waves good-bye as the driver hits the gas… WTF????? great, i’m going to end up in some chengdu back alley… right? so, trying to not hyperventilate, i just sit there and smile… and smile.. and smile… and watch the road signs… 3^rd ring road… 2^nd ring road… 1^st ring road… again, phew… i’m at sims cozy guest hostel! (btw... if you're ever in chengdu... it's quiet, clean... and you can get your own room w/pretty damn comfy bed and private bathroom for about $20/night... whoot!)

ok… this entry has gone on long enough… so i’ll save the rest of chengdu for tomorrow… up next… a freaky, american redhead wanders the streets of chengdu alone… and gets asked out while visiting a monastery… hahahahaha!!!!!

tick... tock...

“listen very closely, there’s nothing worth having that comes without a risk... sometimes, it’s not important which way you jump... just that you jump!” — ida j. mancini


t-minus 48 hours and i’ll be on my way to lax... the packing is (nearly) done...


teaching materials? check!


far too many books? ding!


more nutrition bars and granola than i can realistically eat? yup!


laminated picture of my cat for HI-larious photo opps? oh, yeah!


a pharmacy full of meds? booyah!


enough purell to last me at least three years? check-a-roonie!


and, of course, my beloved moxy... ? abso-flippin-loutely!



...and, oh, yeah... clothes... i managed to fit those in there somewhere, too... :)


now, if i can just shake off the terror my mom put in my head about having even the slightest fever and being thrown in chinese quarantine for three days (thanks, mommy! ;)... i’ll be peachy...


closing my eyes... crossing my fingers... and jumping...

having a "moment"

ahhhh.... so the “real” countdown begins... and, to be honest, i’m feeling a bit overwhelmed... like there is so much i need to do but — i’m kinda floundering... i’m so disorganized (which is incredibly inconvenient for the perpetually anal-retentive, like myself)... the suitcase is out with piles of clothes (most of which i’ll probably ditch) and other crap strewn across my living room (books, gizmos, adapters/converters, meds, blah, blah, blah)... ack! how many pairs of pants? how many shoes? do i bring the heavy jacket? where are my lesson plans? who am i? :)

this adventure has been a looooooong time in the making... so why am i, the super-planning queen of A-R, procrastinating? it’s just not me...

taking an honest gander, it’s a combination of things... concerns that something will happen and i’ll, once again, be delayed... trepidation about what’s in store... and, well, dang near paralysis after a year of a butt-kicking economy... getting back to school and them heavy things that can only be put upon oneself... my energy level just isn’t at its typical, high-octane norm...

fact is, i’m beat.

across the board... it’s been a bumpy year... i entered a whole new, rather painful demographic... threw my butt back into the world of academia (which i so adore... really, it’s been such a blessing).... lost people i love (one of whom i especially miss every damn day)... questioned my place in this world... lost copious amounts of sleep regarding the professional ramifications of this whacked economy... dealt with some big family history issues... and attempted to juggle it all and keep a smile on my face (most likely, unsuccessfully)... phew... it’s been trying... and it’s taken its toll... i’m really... REALLY worn (yet canNOT sleep)...

yes, i'm tired... BUT there’s one thing i know — i’m sure as heck am not down for the count...

i’m not a believer in the notion of “things happen for a reason”... and, certainly, don’t buy into the “there’s a plan” idea... but, truth be told, this trip is coming at the perfect time, personally (professionally? not so much... NOW i’m busy! :)... some sorting out is in order... sacrifice... introspection (e.g.., “getting real with my bad self”... thanks, jp)... finding clarity and joy in simplicity... and, maybe, just giving myself a flippin’ break...

so that’s that... it’s the right trip... the right cause... the right time... mid-life crisis...? i’ve been accused of that before... and, shoot, if i live to see 80, i’d be shocked... but it is something... an evolution... a commitment to growing... learning... and trying to be better is how i prefer to see it...

ok... now, where the hell are my lesson plans?

i learned something today...

so... was up at the fair-to-middlin' buttcrack o'dawn... and headed to lovely downtown la to the chinese consulate to apply for my travel visa (why i still never remember how to get there, despite this being my third trip, is somewhat beyond me)...

it's strange but (other than the actual hassle of getting there) i completely dig going to the consulate... not sure why... it just kind of makes me giggle... the oddly efficient, yet wholly inefficient, system... the bureaucratic paperwork (after bringing the competely filled-out app with you, you're told to fill out another form, giving them much of the same info)... the mixture of cultures all from one country... the complete and utter absence of "personal space"... the hacking, spitting, coughing and other bodily... ummm... functions that, here in the west, are generally suppressed out of our filtered sense of "good taste"... the screaming (and subsequent security-escorted exits) when things don't go one's way (to quote the hitchiker's guide, "resistence is useless!"... it's a brilliant reminder of (and preparation for) the country and culture i'm about to walk back into... no matter how many times you go, it's a culture shock...

anyone who says visiting china is not a wake-up call to the western psyche either didn't pay attention or "viewed" this country and its people from the physically and emotionally sterile environment of an air-conditioned bus with 60 other foreigners looking to tick another item off the "1,000 Places to See Before You Die" checklist"... they didn't walk through the streets at night, unescorted... only ate at their hotel (or the wherever their tourguide took them)... and spent little to no time even attempting to talk to anyone who actually lives there...

they saw landmarks, not a country... which is a damn shame, as there is so much more... but that's another entry... and i digress (not so shocking :)

ANYHOO... back to the consulate... while happily bobbing along, i realized the true reason i like being there was during a conversation i had with an older gentleman sitting next to me who is going back to his hometown outside of guangzhou. he hasn't been there in nearly 10 years... has grandchildren he's never met... and can't wait to go back to what remains for him, even after 25 years in the u.s., "normal life"... and it was in that moment that it became so ridiculously obvious... simply enough, i love the hope... the excitement of those who have dealt with culture shocks of their own, preparing to go back to their roots... to the familiar... friends, family, traditions... and food... (really, he spent 20 minutes telling me all about what he couldn't wait to eat when he got there... which rocked)...

i realized that, when it comes down to it... it's about home... no matter where one wanders, it always call...

hmmmm... as different as we all are, we're so much the same...

k



oh, and, brian... i should have my visa next friday :)