having a "moment"

ahhhh.... so the “real” countdown begins... and, to be honest, i’m feeling a bit overwhelmed... like there is so much i need to do but — i’m kinda floundering... i’m so disorganized (which is incredibly inconvenient for the perpetually anal-retentive, like myself)... the suitcase is out with piles of clothes (most of which i’ll probably ditch) and other crap strewn across my living room (books, gizmos, adapters/converters, meds, blah, blah, blah)... ack! how many pairs of pants? how many shoes? do i bring the heavy jacket? where are my lesson plans? who am i? :)

this adventure has been a looooooong time in the making... so why am i, the super-planning queen of A-R, procrastinating? it’s just not me...

taking an honest gander, it’s a combination of things... concerns that something will happen and i’ll, once again, be delayed... trepidation about what’s in store... and, well, dang near paralysis after a year of a butt-kicking economy... getting back to school and them heavy things that can only be put upon oneself... my energy level just isn’t at its typical, high-octane norm...

fact is, i’m beat.

across the board... it’s been a bumpy year... i entered a whole new, rather painful demographic... threw my butt back into the world of academia (which i so adore... really, it’s been such a blessing).... lost people i love (one of whom i especially miss every damn day)... questioned my place in this world... lost copious amounts of sleep regarding the professional ramifications of this whacked economy... dealt with some big family history issues... and attempted to juggle it all and keep a smile on my face (most likely, unsuccessfully)... phew... it’s been trying... and it’s taken its toll... i’m really... REALLY worn (yet canNOT sleep)...

yes, i'm tired... BUT there’s one thing i know — i’m sure as heck am not down for the count...

i’m not a believer in the notion of “things happen for a reason”... and, certainly, don’t buy into the “there’s a plan” idea... but, truth be told, this trip is coming at the perfect time, personally (professionally? not so much... NOW i’m busy! :)... some sorting out is in order... sacrifice... introspection (e.g.., “getting real with my bad self”... thanks, jp)... finding clarity and joy in simplicity... and, maybe, just giving myself a flippin’ break...

so that’s that... it’s the right trip... the right cause... the right time... mid-life crisis...? i’ve been accused of that before... and, shoot, if i live to see 80, i’d be shocked... but it is something... an evolution... a commitment to growing... learning... and trying to be better is how i prefer to see it...

ok... now, where the hell are my lesson plans?

i learned something today...

so... was up at the fair-to-middlin' buttcrack o'dawn... and headed to lovely downtown la to the chinese consulate to apply for my travel visa (why i still never remember how to get there, despite this being my third trip, is somewhat beyond me)...

it's strange but (other than the actual hassle of getting there) i completely dig going to the consulate... not sure why... it just kind of makes me giggle... the oddly efficient, yet wholly inefficient, system... the bureaucratic paperwork (after bringing the competely filled-out app with you, you're told to fill out another form, giving them much of the same info)... the mixture of cultures all from one country... the complete and utter absence of "personal space"... the hacking, spitting, coughing and other bodily... ummm... functions that, here in the west, are generally suppressed out of our filtered sense of "good taste"... the screaming (and subsequent security-escorted exits) when things don't go one's way (to quote the hitchiker's guide, "resistence is useless!"... it's a brilliant reminder of (and preparation for) the country and culture i'm about to walk back into... no matter how many times you go, it's a culture shock...

anyone who says visiting china is not a wake-up call to the western psyche either didn't pay attention or "viewed" this country and its people from the physically and emotionally sterile environment of an air-conditioned bus with 60 other foreigners looking to tick another item off the "1,000 Places to See Before You Die" checklist"... they didn't walk through the streets at night, unescorted... only ate at their hotel (or the wherever their tourguide took them)... and spent little to no time even attempting to talk to anyone who actually lives there...

they saw landmarks, not a country... which is a damn shame, as there is so much more... but that's another entry... and i digress (not so shocking :)

ANYHOO... back to the consulate... while happily bobbing along, i realized the true reason i like being there was during a conversation i had with an older gentleman sitting next to me who is going back to his hometown outside of guangzhou. he hasn't been there in nearly 10 years... has grandchildren he's never met... and can't wait to go back to what remains for him, even after 25 years in the u.s., "normal life"... and it was in that moment that it became so ridiculously obvious... simply enough, i love the hope... the excitement of those who have dealt with culture shocks of their own, preparing to go back to their roots... to the familiar... friends, family, traditions... and food... (really, he spent 20 minutes telling me all about what he couldn't wait to eat when he got there... which rocked)...

i realized that, when it comes down to it... it's about home... no matter where one wanders, it always call...

hmmmm... as different as we all are, we're so much the same...

k



oh, and, brian... i should have my visa next friday :)

so the official countdown begins...

yup... five weeks until i haul my rear to jatson chumig... and, yes, ms. anal-retentive is totally behind... ack and a half!

ok... so, my flights are booked... i have my hotels... i even have some friends who i can't wait to finally meet face to face (hi, brian and kathy!!!!) ... what i don't have is my chinese visa (whups!)... i promise, it's on my to-do list for early next week... and, annoyingly enough, what i DO have is a box of stuff to ship out... but even that is woefully lacking in what i actually need... which are appropriate lessons... i mean, it's tough to predict how much these kids have/have not already learned, right? sooooo... my solution? laptop, baby!

after incessant internal debate, i've decided to drag one with me... not only can i keep and print out useful worksheets (as needed), but it'll allow me to annoy the heck out of all of you with daily blog entries and pics... at least that's the intent... (i know... i know... you just can't wait.... ;) ... and, yes, it's HI-larious that a region that seems to have nearly NO elevators offers wi-fi... (ain't irony a kick?)

anyhoo, it's with an ideal blend of anticipation and, well, fear that i face this challenge... i'm excited about the work with these children and new experiences... thrilled with the idea of returning to one of the most beautiful lands and people i've ever had the fortune to come across... and, yes, a little scared... not of anything bad, of course... just about missing those closest to me... about moving out of my comfort zone... yet... i know i've never gone wrong doing so before (kananaskis, baby!)... still, it's been a long time since i truly challenged myself to venture forth...and i've never traveled so far to do something that totally scares the crap out of me... but i made a promise to come back and help... i'm nowhere near perfect (NOWHERE), but there's nothing that would stop me from keeping this particular promise...

and for those who know what i'm talking about, i've come to realize i chose exactly the right gold (yeller.. ha!) challenge... i believe that my understanding and caring of others will increase exponentially with this experience... at base, i'm totally aware that this will be worth the wait .. in fact, it may turn out to be even better than if i'd gone last year, as originally planned... (and, yes, tibet will see a ragger's point... and not just the one on my back :).

i would be brave...

alrighty then!

ok... so... yay! yay! yay! yay! yay! tibet did, in fact, reopen april 5... so we're all systems go! actually, it's just kind of hitting me that this is really *finally* going to happen... i think i so had this overplanned last year and then was so disappointed, that i didn't want to get all a-twitter and then have to cancel again... anyhoo, water - bridge... :)

NOW, i've got to get off my duff and get my chinese visa next week... and book my hotel...

sadly, the lhasa rumor mill ;) is reporting that my intended lodgings, the kirey hotel, may be no more... so, it's looking like the yak hotel will be my home for two-plus weeks...


the *real* tragedy is that tashi II, the yummiest place in town, might also be gone... WHAT? you mean i have to go to the other side of town to tashi I for dinner? harrumph! ;)

and, bonus, my oft-emailed but never actually met friend, brian (who does some *really* great work for the jatson chumig school, where i'll be volunteering for two weeks), will be in lhasa around the same time so it looks like i've got a rambling around buddy... cool...

excited!

like deja vu all over again...

you know, one would think i'd be much better at this whole "waiting" thing after what happened with last year's trip...

but i'm not.

once again, TAR is closed to foreigners... and, here i am, waiting to find out, well, if i'm going to have to cancel this trip... again... i'll be honest and say i feel more optimistic about this than last time... BUT... there's still that part of me that's thinking, "dagnabit... maybe i'm just NOT meant to do this... at least not at this point in my life..." i don't like to think negatively, but i can't help but wonder if there's something else i'm supposed to be doing... somewhere else i'm supposed to go to help...

the rumor mill is saying that foreigners will be permitted back as of april 1... if so, great... all sytems go... even may 1 would be peachy... but i AM going to have to figure out a hardstop... at what point to i pull my ducks and make other arrangements...? oh... yes... no matter what, i'm headed somewhere to volunteer on june 4...

any backup suggestions?

booked!

whoot! got my flights all booked... had enough miles for first class... unfortunately, no seats, dagnabit... it's ok, i'll survive in biz class (ahhhhh... business class...) actually, the flights are FAR less chaotic than those i'd booked last year...

anyhoo, i'm leaving lax at about 2 a.m. (ugh!) on june 4, have three-hour layover in hong kong... and end up in chengdu around 1 p.m. on the 5th.. i'll have about 24 hours in chengdu... will be interesting to see the recovery after last year's earthquake... i'm hoping to get over to the panda preserve but i'm not holding my breath about it... and, as much as i wanted to see the massive leshan buddha, it just 'aint gonna happen... next time! :) i WILL, though, have plenty of time to check out wen shu temple and eat obscene quantities of mapo dofu.... which, according legend, has its roots in chengdu.... mmmmmm... spicy!

i head off to Lhasa at about 1 p.m. on the 6th... and will most likely make the kirey hotel my home for the subsequent 15 days... i know. you're jealous... actually, you should be because the tashi II restaurant is right next door and it serves up some seriously tasty curry! rumor has it that it offers a fairly reliable internet, too, which is great, as i'm seriously considering taking a laptop with me. I'll have a day or so to get acclimated to lhasa's 13,000-foot elevation (waaaalllkkk sloooowwwww), before i begin my two-week (m-f) stint at jatson chumig school and orphanage, which is a short busride from the kirey. take a moment and check out the website. there's some really amazing stuff going on.







not sure what i'll do with my free weekend in the middle... would like to get out to namtso lake, one of tibet's three holy lakes and the highest salt-water lake in the world... pretty cool, eh? didn't get the chance to see it 2006 so it's at the top of my to-do list. also want to be sure to venture out to ganden monastery, as well as meander through lhasa's muslim quarter at some point.

anyhoo, i'll be heading home june 21... exhausted, but happy, i'm sure... that's about it for now... looking forward to FINALLY embarking on this long-awaited adventure!

rescheduling

ok... welp... it looks like i've finally... sort of... picked my new dates... woohoo!

i should be finished up with school may 21 so... after a few days to let myself breathe, i'll take off round about may 27... work at jatson chumig from june 1-12... and then... ummmm... either explore for a few more days or head straight home (haven't really decided yet...)

this is a slightly different trip than originally planned, as my dad can't join me for the extended trip... nonetheless, i'm excited about this challenge... it's been a long time in the making/waiting, but i truly believe it'll be worth it!

somebody call me a waaaaahhhmmmbulance!

alright... i give up... it's not something i do easily... and, truth be told, it feels like crap... something in me is SURE that, now that i've canceled all my reservations and postponed my trip until next april, tibet will reopen to foreigners... sigh...

amazing how much work it takes to make travel arrangements, yet how quickly one can cancel em all!

some have kindly suggested i find another school... in another country... where things aren't so "unstable"... and, while i appreciate their intentions and good wishes (and i know there are children throughout this world who need help/hope/happiness), this has become a quest... so, i'm diggin' my heels in...

i guess this continues to be an exercise in patience for me... thank goodness i'm stubborn... :)

updates to resume in 2009... but feel free to visit the jatson chumig school and orphanage website and learn more about this very special place!

c'mon...

open... open... open... (face smashed up against airport glass)

ferrrrrustrerated...

in the immortal words of my daughter when she was a toddler, i'm incredibly frustrated by reports that the chinese government may have reversed its decision to allow foreigners back into the TAR may 1 (something in me kept from whooping it up when the may 1 date was thrown out there... one of the moments that being a cynic comes in handy, i suppose)... i'm still waiting for confirmation from my contacts in lhasa, but am feeling a bit low about it.

granted, it's not a deal-breaker... i'll just have to reschedule the trip for october (or, worst case next may/june)... but it's a pricey bummer, not to mention that the plans my father and i had to travel tibet together after i was done helping at jatson chumig will pretty much be doa... sigh...

back to the waiting game... final decision to pull the plug will be made the first week of may....

not so easily deterred...

i've received many calls and emails over the last few days, asking if the protests in lhasa have changed my mind about this trip. hardly.

suffice to say that i hope this ends quickly and my reasons for taking on this challenge and going on this trip has been reinforced, not depleted, by current events.

please send a few good thoughts out....

yeah!

ok... sooooo FINALLY... i'm boooooookeed... i got a kooky itinerary but it's biz class baby! (ok... all the way to hong kong... i'm ECON after that... )... so... here goes...

leaving mid-day monday, may 26th (memorial day)... lax to tokyo... tokyo to hong kong... a 12-hour layover in HK (but will kick it the airport's kick-butt traveler's lounges... $80 for a bed, shower and buffet breakfast... WAY better then trying to find a hotel in the city)... then onto chengdu the morning of the 28th...

i'll cool my heels at sim's cozy garden hostel in chengdu for a few days to get my tibetan travel permit... sim's is a pretty funky place... but i like that kinda thing.. and it gets great reviews... last, at $14/night for a single room with bath, it officially rocks!

while there, i'm hoping to check out wenshu monastery... a beautiful buddhist temple in the north part of the city... also home of a popular tea garden and great veggie restaurant (yay!)....

the panda research center, where pretty much all the world's pandas come from these days ... on one hand, animals in captivity make me sad (like sad panda?)... but it's also hopeful... as this center is keeping these beautiful creatures from extinction.. (and, damn, if these aren't about the cutest things on earth, i don't know what is... i just wanna hug em!)...


...the leshan giant buddha (i wanted to see this on the '06 trip, but just couldn't work it in... ). the leshan buddha is the tallest stone buddha in the world. it's carved out of a cliff face and, from what i've heard, is simply amazing! (lookie at all the itsy people!)...






oh... and i plan to eat as much ma po dofu (sans critters, of course) i can humanly stand... (mmmmm... spicy!)


more details to come...

argh, part deux!

still calling, dagnabit! they haven't even released any coach seats!

agggrrrhhhh!

breathing....

:)

argh!

So, after charging my AA credit card like crazy (and paying off each month, of course) so I could get enough miles to fly like a rock star in biz class (never done that before and would be most welcome, as I'm flying from Lhasa, to Chengdu, to Hong Kong and home all in one day... ugh), AA tells me there are no frequent flier seats available...

Sigh, I guess I'll just keep calling and asking until they give in...

or...

poop.

Goin' Back, Baby!

Well, not like I have another blog that I'm not so great at keeping up to date, but what the heck? This is a whole new (and, eventually, limiting) topic... Besides, ya'll can keep up with my adventures while I'm gone.

Sooooooo... yes, I've spent the last 15 months dreaming of the day I can return to Tibet... and it looks like things are getting set in stone! Wooo hoooo! Here's the nitty-gritty...

I'm leaving @ 1:50 a.m. (ouch!) Tuesday, May 27 and will return Saturday, June 21.

After a few days in Chengdu, I will get my Tibetan Travel Permit and proceed to Lhasa on May 31. From June 2-13, I will be volunteering at the Jatson Chumig Welfare Special School, helping to teach Tibetan orphans to speak English. (If you're up for being generous, check out the Amazon.com wish list I've got going... I'm planning on shipping out a box of all this stuff Mid-April... All items are needed and most appreciated! :)

I'm really excited about seeing this school and meeting the children. I've heard some wonderful things from other volunteers about their time at Jatson (and, yes, I've promised Keith I will NOT bring home any children... sigh...)

I will be teaching Monday -Friday for two weeks and will spend the weekend of June 7, tooling around and doing some daytrips out of Lhasa.

In the middle of my second week, my father will be flying to Lhasa and will do a few days of sightseeing in the area while I'm finishing up my volunteer work. Then, on Saturday, June 14, my dad and I hit the road for nine days touring Tibet. Assuming one of us doesn't kill the other (wink!), we're going to do much of the tour Keith and I did in Sept. 06 (Gyantse, Shigatse, Tsetang)... but with one *huge* addition... a trip to Everest Base Camp... yeeeeeaaahhhhhaaaaawwww!!!!

I can't believe it's still six months away... oh well, I'll babble on about the joys of planning such an adventure in the meantime!